What I know now

I was digging through old pictures and videos of Logan and my reaction surprised me. They were from a time when this little boy was lost and unable to communicate. The images should have brought back all those feelings of helplessness, fear and uncertainty. I should have been crying. But I wasn't. I was laughing. From the crash course in autism I have had since Logan's diagnosis, I now look at these images and wonder how I could have questioned whether or not my son had autism. From the first day I noticed one of Logan's behaviours until the day we walked into Autism Partnership, I knew that Logan was developing differently than other children. I just didn't know if it was autism. People would tell me he was fine or that he would "grow out of it". I didn't believe them. As a mom, I knew and I accepted that Logan was different. I just needed to know what "it" was. As I learned about autistic traits, it felt like I was seeing "it" everywhere. I want to share with you some traits you often see in children with autism.

1. Eye Contact - It was very difficult for Logan to make eye contact. I felt like I had to work really hard to get his attention. The doctors initially thought Logan had a hearing problem.

2. Flapping -Flapping is very common in children with autism. Because Logan was so young when he was diagnosed I didn't notice it as much as when he grew older. This is one of those things I look back on and see clearly now. To the unaware, in toddlers, the flapping may just look like they are excited. I can remember I would call Logan my little bird because he would flap so much. Our doctors initially tested him for seizures.

3. Toe Walking & Bouncing - From the moment he could walk, Logan would walk on his tippy toes and bounce a lot. Our doctors wondered if the muscles in his legs were long enough.

I am not sure why these traits are often present in children with autism but they are very common. The flapping is what sent me to the doctors with Logan. I was worried about seizures. His whole body would stiffen up and shake and it would happen numerous times a day. Once seizures were ruled out and his hearing test came back normal, they put it all together and suggested we have him assessed for autism. It seems so clear to me now but hindsight is always 20/20.... At the time, it seemed to take a long time to get a diagnosis. In reality, Logan was diagnosed with autism earlier than many children and therefore has been able to benefit from early intensive intervention.

I am happy to report that Logan is now able to control all of the traits listed above. It was a lot of hard work with his behavioral consultant and aides. It is also a daily struggle but he is aware of it and has control. We are so proud of him.

This video is of Logan "not cool" flapping.



This video is of Logan "cool" not flapping.



** "cool" and "not cool" are terms used in therapy with Logan. He understands that the goal is to keep his body "cool".

Logan Singing

Spring is here!

Great news our contract for Specialized Services has been renewed for another year. We are so happy to receive this news. This time around our experience with FSCD was wonderful. I felt that our worker was behind us 100%. I wonder now if it is because I understood the process, had more confidence and a past experience under my belt? Or was it that FSCD realized we are dedicated parents willing to do anything to help our son?

We had a wonderful Spring Break it was great that both Ruby and Logan were out of school at the same time. Logan continued with his morning sessions so it gave Ruby and I some one on one time together. I feel that our days are really full during a regular week so I tried not to plan too much. I just wanted the kids to have some fun at home together and spend time playing outside and just being kids.

We pulled the bikes out of the garage. Logan surprised us all when he got on his bike and started to peddle away!! This is huge...last year we tried and tried to get him interested to learn how to bike but he hated every minute of it. He would protest even sitting on it. He peddled to the bottom of a small incline then abandoned the bike and came back to the garage, I still consider it a major accomplishment. Since then he has shown interest in continuing to bike.

Biking is not the only thing Logan tried this past month. We celebrated Ruby's 7th Birthday. For her party we went Roller Skating. Logan gave it a try and loved it. They had a great time and it was a wonderful party.

Easter was so much fun. We created an Easter Egg Hunt for Ruby and Logan with 7 clues. Ruby is reading now and Logan has been working on listening for information. Ruby was told the Easter Bunny wanted her to read each clue and wait until Logan knew where to look. She read each clue to Logan and they made their way around the house finally finding their baskets in the tub! They were so into it they have make Clues a regular game at home. We are hoping this helps Logan learn how to play hide and seek.

I wanted to share with you a link from Autism Partnership (Logan's Service Provider)on The Today Show. The video is about half way down the page.
http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/15/6473011-finding-calm-in-the-storm-saving-my-family-from-the-chaos-of-autism

Hope you enjoy it talk to you soon!!

"Dad, when you want to do something, you need to stop and look ahead!"

The title for this post came from Logan this morning. What he doesn't understand is how true that is! A year ago I would never dream that he would say that phrase! My name is Bill and I am Logan's Dad. I wanted to share some thoughts on the past year and half since we had found out Logan had Autism, looked for options and then started his therapy. Initially when Glenda first started talking about something being wrong with Logan and that he might have have Autism, I brushed it off and was adamant that he would grow out of it. He was just behind a bit on some things and it would sort itself out as he got older. I also thought that there was no way Logan had Autism as he wasn't sitting in the corner banging his head against the wall like you see in the movies. Glenda didn't buy it and thank God for that! Mother's intuition, it's a very real and powerful force! The weeks passed and he didn't change and I came to the realization that something for sure wasn't right. Glenda had done a ton of research by this point and through various processes we received funding, Logan started therapy and we are where we are today. Sounds easy right? Well, what you don't see is the time spent angry that this happened to your little man, the time spent crying because you didn't think there was anything that you could do for your boy, the time spent thinking about what kind of life would Logan lead and feeling so helpless that I had no control. It's a roller coaster of feelings, but you are in the dark on this roller coaster as you don't really know what your are dealing with each day! I wish I could say it passes, but there are still days where these thoughts run through my head and I still feel angry, sad, helpless. What I do know is there isn't anything that we as parents wouldn't do for him.
It's funny because one of the first things I thought of was that Logan wouldn't want to go to hockey games because it was too loud and that he would stop liking hockey and probably never play hockey either! Selfish right? Well Logan does like to go to the Hitmen games and likes to watch hockey with me just before he goes to bed and plays hockey taking turns being from the Hitmen, Canucks, Coyotes, Capitals, etc. on the living room or playroom floors. Hockey, amidst all the therapy, clinics, emotions, feelings, etc. has become the one thing that seems "normal"! Logan loves to read this new comic book "The Guardian Project" which has superheroes for all 30 NHL teams in it. Well I am here to tell you that Logan is one of my superheroes! Not surprising as he was named afer one.(No there was no Logan in our family tree but his name comes from his Dad's favourite superhero, Wolverine.) This past year I watched as my son initially had no control over a great many things and now today has mastered many of them! He works so hard! When he gets really excited and he starts to stim and you can see him work so hard to stop doing it. He corrects himself when he says the wrong things, such as he/she, her/him "what did/do you", and during therapy, school and clinics he tries so hard and does so well! He has come so far this past year and as far as I am concerned he is the real Wolverine! Well I'll leave it there for my first post, but there is lots more I want to say, so until next time...

We have made progress

The title is a bit of an understatement. There are so many things that we have accomplished since our last post! First off we began potty training in November. Logan is now successfully using the facilities to go #1. #2 on the other hand has been hit and miss. We have now resorted to bribing him. We are using Hot Chocolate and the Guardian Project (an NHL comic book). Both are favorites to Logan and very motivational. I thought we were done with 'training' before Christmas but after the flu, colds and some other setbacks, we had to start again. I am looking forward to the day when #2 is always deposited in the toilet but we are not there yet!
Next on our list of accomplishments was a successful roadtrip to Edmonton. Until now, we have only stayed with Nana and Pop, Aunt B, Aunt G and of course camped in our trailer. On this most recent roadtrip, we ventured into new territory and stayed with friends. It was awesome and Logan did great. Ruby and Logan got in lots of playtime with their good friend Erin and we got in a great visit with friends. We were so happy Logan did well and thankful our friends were so understanding and supportive. During this trip we went bowling (disco style). The combination of bowling, flashing lights and loud music were all new experiences to Logan. There was some stimming and impatience from Logan but all things considered, the outing a success. I should also mention Logan won! He bowled a 96 (highest). I, on the other hand, bowled a 74 (lowest).
Now onto our best news. The Executive Director of Logan's specialized preschool has recommended that Logan might be ready in September to begin integrating into a regular preschool. This year, Logan's days are divided between one-on-one with an aide at home and half days at BTLC (a specialized preschool). In September, Logan's preschool half days would be split between time in the new regular preschool program and BTLC. Logan would have an aide in the 'regular' classroom to support him in following direction and interacting appropriately with the teacher and other children. In addition to the half days in preschool, Logan would continue his one-on-one work with an aide in our home. Although it is not a change in the amount of time Logan spents in school, integration will bring a host of changes for Logan. Fortunately Logan loves the structure of his programming and works very hard both in his class and in one-on-one time.
Beginning with the next post, Logan's dad will be adding his perspective to the blog. Two bloggers will mean more frequent posts (hopefully!).
We hope that you will consider becoming a follower on our blog so that you will receive notification of new posts. As always, we welcome your comments and questions. The whole reason for this blog is to get the word of autism out there and for people to see what life is like on our journey. We want to share what we have learned and are learning! One thing we will not do is pass judgement. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

We're back....finally

It has been too long since I last blogged. School, Work, Volunteering etc...the list goes on and on. In the past month we have accomplished so much. Fist off a successful Silent Auction for Logan's school (www.btlc.ca) where we raised $25,000.00that will be put to great use I am sure. We also had a very successful Halloween. Where we received way to much candy!

Over the summer I read a great book by Jodi Picoult called House Rules. I started wonder why most of the fiction books that I have read that involve Autism are always based on someone with Aspergers? Is it that Aspergers is more socially acceptable? Is it that their "quirks" fit neatly into the box we label normal? Is Aspergers "just enough" difference?

I want you know that no matter where a child falls on the Autism spectrum it is Autism. Please do not tell me that my child is "higher functioning" please do not tell me that he may have Aspergers. Logan is on the Autism Spectrum. The spectrum looks an Awful lot like a rainbow but this rainbow has no pot of gold at the end.

It frustrates me when I tell someone Logan is Autistic and their reply is "he looks normal" or "he must be high functioning...does he have aspergers?". I know it is that they are not familiar with Autism like our family is and I try to remember that I have been there before. I just want people to know Autistic Children do not look different. It is how they learn, how they behave, how they socialize that is different. There is no "good" Autism. Just like there is no "good" cancer. No matter where a child is on the spectrum they are on it. Just like no matter what cancer you are diagnosed with it is cancer and scary as hell! Each family that is given the ASD diagnosis will have their own challenges, each child will have their own potential or best outcome to meet. Just remember they have potential!

Would I change it if I could? No....I was put on this road for a reason. I am happy that early intervention has made a huge difference in our lives. That Logan is becoming more aware of his environment and his peers. His vocabulary is growing and his behaviour is coming around but it will be a long road filled with ups and downs.

Busy Days

Well school is well underway and both kids are loving it. Our first day was met with confusion on Logan's part. He used to have sessions alone with an aide but we called it "going to school". So on our first day of school we arrived and there were other kids and aides and the teacher so Logan was a bit overwhelmed. Once he understood what school was he was geared up to go the following day. Ruby is loving grade one and when she comes home to do homework Logan feels he should do his homework as well. Early mornings make for early bed times and thank goodness because by 7pm I feel I could crawl into bed. I am so proud of both kids they are up and ready to go by 7:15am when we leave to drop Ruby off at the bus. Then Logan and I hang out until 8:30 when his session starts and it goes till 12. Then we are off after a quick lunch to his school for 12:45. During that time I pick up Ruby at 2:25 then we pick up Logan at 3:45 then drive home for dinner, baths and after some playing they are in bed. Once we put in Ruby's Sparks, Skating and Curling it makes for some busy weeks. It is nice to have a schedule even if it is busy. As long as they love it we will continue it. They both know school is not an option!!!