We're back....finally

It has been too long since I last blogged. School, Work, Volunteering etc...the list goes on and on. In the past month we have accomplished so much. Fist off a successful Silent Auction for Logan's school (www.btlc.ca) where we raised $25,000.00that will be put to great use I am sure. We also had a very successful Halloween. Where we received way to much candy!

Over the summer I read a great book by Jodi Picoult called House Rules. I started wonder why most of the fiction books that I have read that involve Autism are always based on someone with Aspergers? Is it that Aspergers is more socially acceptable? Is it that their "quirks" fit neatly into the box we label normal? Is Aspergers "just enough" difference?

I want you know that no matter where a child falls on the Autism spectrum it is Autism. Please do not tell me that my child is "higher functioning" please do not tell me that he may have Aspergers. Logan is on the Autism Spectrum. The spectrum looks an Awful lot like a rainbow but this rainbow has no pot of gold at the end.

It frustrates me when I tell someone Logan is Autistic and their reply is "he looks normal" or "he must be high functioning...does he have aspergers?". I know it is that they are not familiar with Autism like our family is and I try to remember that I have been there before. I just want people to know Autistic Children do not look different. It is how they learn, how they behave, how they socialize that is different. There is no "good" Autism. Just like there is no "good" cancer. No matter where a child is on the spectrum they are on it. Just like no matter what cancer you are diagnosed with it is cancer and scary as hell! Each family that is given the ASD diagnosis will have their own challenges, each child will have their own potential or best outcome to meet. Just remember they have potential!

Would I change it if I could? No....I was put on this road for a reason. I am happy that early intervention has made a huge difference in our lives. That Logan is becoming more aware of his environment and his peers. His vocabulary is growing and his behaviour is coming around but it will be a long road filled with ups and downs.

Busy Days

Well school is well underway and both kids are loving it. Our first day was met with confusion on Logan's part. He used to have sessions alone with an aide but we called it "going to school". So on our first day of school we arrived and there were other kids and aides and the teacher so Logan was a bit overwhelmed. Once he understood what school was he was geared up to go the following day. Ruby is loving grade one and when she comes home to do homework Logan feels he should do his homework as well. Early mornings make for early bed times and thank goodness because by 7pm I feel I could crawl into bed. I am so proud of both kids they are up and ready to go by 7:15am when we leave to drop Ruby off at the bus. Then Logan and I hang out until 8:30 when his session starts and it goes till 12. Then we are off after a quick lunch to his school for 12:45. During that time I pick up Ruby at 2:25 then we pick up Logan at 3:45 then drive home for dinner, baths and after some playing they are in bed. Once we put in Ruby's Sparks, Skating and Curling it makes for some busy weeks. It is nice to have a schedule even if it is busy. As long as they love it we will continue it. They both know school is not an option!!!

Workshop Week

First I must say I am so excited about the Emmys. Temple Grandin kicked butt! If you have not see it you must it was a great Movie. Anyways what a week. I signed up for a workshop at Autism Partnership to learn how to teach children with Autism. I learned so much and got to work with a fabulous team of ladies and a wonderful bunch of children. The most important thing I learned was not to react when you are hit yes that is right ignore it and it will stop (it did)! I also learned their are so many myths around Autism for example:

Myth:A child with autism never gives eye contact.
There are children with autism who make eye contact. Others take years to learn how to make eye contact.

Myth: Autistic people are usually geniuses or have a savant ability (Rain Man).
Autism is characterized by an uneven development of skills. That means that people with autism generally have some skills that are very well-developed and others that lag far behind. An autistic child, for instance, may have an amazing capacity to memorize facts, but be unable to relate those facts to each other.

Myth: Autistic people are incapable of giving affection.
Autism causes a dysfunction in the ability of a person to communicate and interact with others. Their expressions of affection may be unusual, or not fit the norm, but autistic people are certainly capable of feeling and showing affection.

Myth: Autistic people can not function in society.
There are many people who are diagnosed with autism who hold jobs, maintain their own apartments, have relationships with other people and do everything that people without autism can do. Autism is a broad spectrum of symptoms of varying degrees of severity.

Myth: Most children with autism never learn to talk.
With early identification and intensive intervention, as many as three-quarters of children with autism are able to talk. Those children with autism who never acquire spoken language often have severe mental retardation in addition to their autism, making the learning of language especially difficult. With training, however, even these children can often learn to communicate non-verbally

Myth: Autism can be caused by vaccinations.
At least two large studies have looked for a link between vaccinations and autism and did not find any evidence for it. Autism usually first appears within the first two years of life, at a time when children are receiving many immunizations. The appearance of autistic symptoms shortly after an immunization is bound to happen some of the time solely by chance.

Myth: Autism is caused by chemical imbalances or allergies that can be cured by special diets or nutritional supplements.
While these theories have undeniable appeal, no credible scientific evidence exists that diet or nutritional supplements can cure autism. Children with autism certainly can have allergies and nutritional deficiencies, and correcting these problems can help such a child to be healthier. This, in turn, may improve the child's behavior and general outlook, but special diets or vitamins are very unlikely to cure the autism itself, no matter what testimonials say.

Myth:Autism is caused by a lack of maternal affection
Professor Bruno Bettelheim believed that autism was caused by a lack of maternal affection. This led to the concept of the ‘refrigerator mother’ i.e. a mother who was emotionally distant. This theory has since been disproved.
We now beleive that autism has nothing to do with lack of affection from parents. Most mothers and fathers of children with autism spectrum disorders are extremely caring and loving parents.

These are just a few that I have been asked time and time again. I hope you pass it along. As Harry S. Truman said "it's what you learn after you know that counts."

Gearing up for school!

Isn't it always the way. I was so excited for Ruby to start preschool. What was I thinking? I know that she is exceptional, she enjoys being around other kids and it was a wonderful experience for her. I just can't help thinking (now that she is starting grade one) what was the rush? Then cringing about the money we spent on it! With Logan I was looking at things differently I would just let him be. We would find kids he could "socialize" with and when kindergarten came we would just go with the flow. That is until he was diagnosed. Then he started daily Therapy it's close to being in school only at home. Now that he is in a program they are suggesting he go to preschool to teach him the skills that do not come naturally to him. So instead of spending the day with Logan while Ruby spends full days at school. Our day will go a little something like this...Monday - Friday 8:30-12 therapy at home, 12-12:45 Lunch and driving to preschool, 12:45 - 3:45 preschool, in between I will pick up Ruby at school @ 2:25 and head back to pick up Logan then head home. Are you jealous yet? Oh well like the quote says you can wait out the storm or dance in the rain....I am going to be very wet!!!

We Will Survive!

So a few months have past...didn't I promise to keep in touch more often? It is always the intention...right? Well here I am after what I would chalk up to two long challenging months that for once didn't have anything to do with Logan or Autism. My dad went through open heart surgery (aortic valve replacement)with a few complications and a 20 day stay at VGH. Then my uncle passed away after a 6 month fight with Lung Cancer and ten days after his passing his wife (my aunt) was rushed to the hospital after her lung collapsed.

I must say the challenges that I have faced with Logan have made me a much stronger person because in the past I am not sure I could have kept it together through such a tumultuous time.

I have also learned that children face death with much more grace than we give them credit for. Ruby and I returned from Vancouver immediately after hearing that my uncle had taken a turn for the worse. Upon returning we went straight to my aunts house to see my uncle. I had told Ruby that he was dying and we needed to say goodbye. When we got to her house we went into the bedroom and Ruby started talking to him as if he was answering her back. She kept his mouth moist until she fell asleep in the chair and when she woke the next morning he had passed she went to the door of the room and said he doesn't hurt anymore he looks like he is sleeping. After a brief cry she dried her face and asked if she could pick out a star that night for her uncle. That was that. She has mentioned her and there that she misses him but she has carried on. It was truly inspiring.

Being away from Logan for 10 days when I was in Vancouver with my dad taught me two things one Bill can definitely take care of things when I am not here and Logan can make progress when I am away. It blew me away when I came home and saw the leaps he had taken in everything. His speech seemed clearer there were sentences I had never heard. I am not even sure Logan realized I was gone until I came home. He has been getting some separation anxiety whenever I leave the room which is a struggle we want to nip in the bud.

We are looking forward to the summer that we have left and we home it is a happier one. We are off camping for a week so I am sure we will have some stories upon returning.

Life is Sweet

So we have has some memorable moments around our house lately. The first was for the past week when asked to do something Logan would say Yes Sir! or Yes Master! I am not sure where he heard it but it has made us giggle every time. It has recently subsided which is great because it started to get old after a week. The next phrase that got a giggle was when Logan needed help instead of asking for Help! He was saying Mayday Mayday Mayday we are losing altitude! I finally figured out it is from one of the three Ice Age movies. If you are not too familiar with Logan he tends to memorize a movie after watching it once. He will repeat movie quotes back when he is at a loss of words. It is rather cute.

I had a wonderful Mothers Day. Logan and Ruby let me sleep in...thanks to Dad and Aunt B (as Ruby had a sleep over). When we were driving somewhere with Logan he said I love watching movie, and I Love Mama! There were times I never thought I would hear those words from our son. It brought tears to my eyes and warm my heart. He has come so far.

Logan is continuing to make progress! The other day he took off his own Pajamas and put on his shirt and pants.....yeah Logan. That evening when Logan took his shirt off and put on his Pajama shirt for Ruby she cheered and said I think I am going to cry!! We are all so proud of him. I just went to his clinic yesterday and they are thrilled with the strides he is making!

I have noticed a change in Logan when we play outside with the kids in the complex. Logan now chases them around instead of wanting to play in the puddle or sandbox alone. The other day he had a complete melt down because he wanted the a toy gun the kids were playing laser tag with they let him have it for a bit and he chased them around with it but was not keen on sharing the gun. I carried him in the house kicking and screaming and I had a smile from ear to ear because my boy wanted to continue to play with the other kids. It made me remember that life is sweet and we have come so far!

Haircut time

After months of desensitizing and practicing for a haircut it was finally time to book an appointment at our local hairdressers. Logan was going for his first haircut! Well not really first but the first that I did not have to hold him down in the chair and listen to him scream and cry for half an hour. There was one hitch. We woke up to 20cm of snow....What do you do? In hindsight I should have called the salon asked if they were open and maybe postponed it! I had been telling Logan that we were going and he seemed excited so I wanted to seize the opportunity. The aides and OT had been working since January to walk through all the steps of a haircut which included cutting small bit of hair on a daily basis. I was so excited to see Logan with a "normal" haircut. Again in hindsight I should have been patient. The salon was closed due to weather when we showed up. Damn! So instead of going home I found another salon that was open. Our aide and I tried to explain to the non English speaking hairdresser that Logan needed to take baby steps. If he could only sit in the chair today that was fine. So Logan got in the chair. The cape was put around him...I was so proud of these accomplishments alone as they were huge for Logan. The hairdresser pulled out the razor still good we practiced this at home....then the razor nip his skin and that was enough. After a five minute break Logan sat in the chair again. We asked the hairdresser to go slow when cutting a few cuts then stop a few more then stop but she did not speak English she went all Edward Sissorhands on Logan's hair when the hair fell on his lap that was the end of that. He was done for the day. After telling the hairdresser we were all done she insisted she could finish. We said no we are all done. When she was following Logan with the sissors cutting his hair when he was walking his aide just told her NO MORE he is done thank you. So I did not get a "normal" looking haircut on my boy but it did teach me that slow and steady works for Logan. We have an appointment next week at the original Salon that understands Logan's needs. If he can only sit in the chair that will be fine with me.
After our "lesson" with the hairdresser I told Logan he was so brave. I asked what he would like for a treat and because we were close to Costco he said he wanted a cookie. So into Costco and to the bakery so we could get him a free cookie. Then we went to get some lunch in the cafeteria part of Costco. Logan was stimming alot after his haircut and he was not listening. So it should not have been a surprise when he fell off his bench and onto the cement floor head first! This is where I must vent. To any parent or person who knows about Autism it would have been clear that Logan was Autistic he was (spinning, flapping, jumping on his toes..ect). On that day though none of those educated people were in Costco when Logan fell. The people that were there all looked at me and shook their heads. Most likely thinking what a brat. My son is not a brat...he was not ignoring me by choice. In my perfect world everyone will know what Autism "looks like". So today when you see a "bratty" kid in the mall try walking by without judgement you just never know maybe he just made it though his first haircut!