"Dad, when you want to do something, you need to stop and look ahead!"

The title for this post came from Logan this morning. What he doesn't understand is how true that is! A year ago I would never dream that he would say that phrase! My name is Bill and I am Logan's Dad. I wanted to share some thoughts on the past year and half since we had found out Logan had Autism, looked for options and then started his therapy. Initially when Glenda first started talking about something being wrong with Logan and that he might have have Autism, I brushed it off and was adamant that he would grow out of it. He was just behind a bit on some things and it would sort itself out as he got older. I also thought that there was no way Logan had Autism as he wasn't sitting in the corner banging his head against the wall like you see in the movies. Glenda didn't buy it and thank God for that! Mother's intuition, it's a very real and powerful force! The weeks passed and he didn't change and I came to the realization that something for sure wasn't right. Glenda had done a ton of research by this point and through various processes we received funding, Logan started therapy and we are where we are today. Sounds easy right? Well, what you don't see is the time spent angry that this happened to your little man, the time spent crying because you didn't think there was anything that you could do for your boy, the time spent thinking about what kind of life would Logan lead and feeling so helpless that I had no control. It's a roller coaster of feelings, but you are in the dark on this roller coaster as you don't really know what your are dealing with each day! I wish I could say it passes, but there are still days where these thoughts run through my head and I still feel angry, sad, helpless. What I do know is there isn't anything that we as parents wouldn't do for him.
It's funny because one of the first things I thought of was that Logan wouldn't want to go to hockey games because it was too loud and that he would stop liking hockey and probably never play hockey either! Selfish right? Well Logan does like to go to the Hitmen games and likes to watch hockey with me just before he goes to bed and plays hockey taking turns being from the Hitmen, Canucks, Coyotes, Capitals, etc. on the living room or playroom floors. Hockey, amidst all the therapy, clinics, emotions, feelings, etc. has become the one thing that seems "normal"! Logan loves to read this new comic book "The Guardian Project" which has superheroes for all 30 NHL teams in it. Well I am here to tell you that Logan is one of my superheroes! Not surprising as he was named afer one.(No there was no Logan in our family tree but his name comes from his Dad's favourite superhero, Wolverine.) This past year I watched as my son initially had no control over a great many things and now today has mastered many of them! He works so hard! When he gets really excited and he starts to stim and you can see him work so hard to stop doing it. He corrects himself when he says the wrong things, such as he/she, her/him "what did/do you", and during therapy, school and clinics he tries so hard and does so well! He has come so far this past year and as far as I am concerned he is the real Wolverine! Well I'll leave it there for my first post, but there is lots more I want to say, so until next time...

We have made progress

The title is a bit of an understatement. There are so many things that we have accomplished since our last post! First off we began potty training in November. Logan is now successfully using the facilities to go #1. #2 on the other hand has been hit and miss. We have now resorted to bribing him. We are using Hot Chocolate and the Guardian Project (an NHL comic book). Both are favorites to Logan and very motivational. I thought we were done with 'training' before Christmas but after the flu, colds and some other setbacks, we had to start again. I am looking forward to the day when #2 is always deposited in the toilet but we are not there yet!
Next on our list of accomplishments was a successful roadtrip to Edmonton. Until now, we have only stayed with Nana and Pop, Aunt B, Aunt G and of course camped in our trailer. On this most recent roadtrip, we ventured into new territory and stayed with friends. It was awesome and Logan did great. Ruby and Logan got in lots of playtime with their good friend Erin and we got in a great visit with friends. We were so happy Logan did well and thankful our friends were so understanding and supportive. During this trip we went bowling (disco style). The combination of bowling, flashing lights and loud music were all new experiences to Logan. There was some stimming and impatience from Logan but all things considered, the outing a success. I should also mention Logan won! He bowled a 96 (highest). I, on the other hand, bowled a 74 (lowest).
Now onto our best news. The Executive Director of Logan's specialized preschool has recommended that Logan might be ready in September to begin integrating into a regular preschool. This year, Logan's days are divided between one-on-one with an aide at home and half days at BTLC (a specialized preschool). In September, Logan's preschool half days would be split between time in the new regular preschool program and BTLC. Logan would have an aide in the 'regular' classroom to support him in following direction and interacting appropriately with the teacher and other children. In addition to the half days in preschool, Logan would continue his one-on-one work with an aide in our home. Although it is not a change in the amount of time Logan spents in school, integration will bring a host of changes for Logan. Fortunately Logan loves the structure of his programming and works very hard both in his class and in one-on-one time.
Beginning with the next post, Logan's dad will be adding his perspective to the blog. Two bloggers will mean more frequent posts (hopefully!).
We hope that you will consider becoming a follower on our blog so that you will receive notification of new posts. As always, we welcome your comments and questions. The whole reason for this blog is to get the word of autism out there and for people to see what life is like on our journey. We want to share what we have learned and are learning! One thing we will not do is pass judgement. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

We're back....finally

It has been too long since I last blogged. School, Work, Volunteering etc...the list goes on and on. In the past month we have accomplished so much. Fist off a successful Silent Auction for Logan's school (www.btlc.ca) where we raised $25,000.00that will be put to great use I am sure. We also had a very successful Halloween. Where we received way to much candy!

Over the summer I read a great book by Jodi Picoult called House Rules. I started wonder why most of the fiction books that I have read that involve Autism are always based on someone with Aspergers? Is it that Aspergers is more socially acceptable? Is it that their "quirks" fit neatly into the box we label normal? Is Aspergers "just enough" difference?

I want you know that no matter where a child falls on the Autism spectrum it is Autism. Please do not tell me that my child is "higher functioning" please do not tell me that he may have Aspergers. Logan is on the Autism Spectrum. The spectrum looks an Awful lot like a rainbow but this rainbow has no pot of gold at the end.

It frustrates me when I tell someone Logan is Autistic and their reply is "he looks normal" or "he must be high functioning...does he have aspergers?". I know it is that they are not familiar with Autism like our family is and I try to remember that I have been there before. I just want people to know Autistic Children do not look different. It is how they learn, how they behave, how they socialize that is different. There is no "good" Autism. Just like there is no "good" cancer. No matter where a child is on the spectrum they are on it. Just like no matter what cancer you are diagnosed with it is cancer and scary as hell! Each family that is given the ASD diagnosis will have their own challenges, each child will have their own potential or best outcome to meet. Just remember they have potential!

Would I change it if I could? No....I was put on this road for a reason. I am happy that early intervention has made a huge difference in our lives. That Logan is becoming more aware of his environment and his peers. His vocabulary is growing and his behaviour is coming around but it will be a long road filled with ups and downs.

Busy Days

Well school is well underway and both kids are loving it. Our first day was met with confusion on Logan's part. He used to have sessions alone with an aide but we called it "going to school". So on our first day of school we arrived and there were other kids and aides and the teacher so Logan was a bit overwhelmed. Once he understood what school was he was geared up to go the following day. Ruby is loving grade one and when she comes home to do homework Logan feels he should do his homework as well. Early mornings make for early bed times and thank goodness because by 7pm I feel I could crawl into bed. I am so proud of both kids they are up and ready to go by 7:15am when we leave to drop Ruby off at the bus. Then Logan and I hang out until 8:30 when his session starts and it goes till 12. Then we are off after a quick lunch to his school for 12:45. During that time I pick up Ruby at 2:25 then we pick up Logan at 3:45 then drive home for dinner, baths and after some playing they are in bed. Once we put in Ruby's Sparks, Skating and Curling it makes for some busy weeks. It is nice to have a schedule even if it is busy. As long as they love it we will continue it. They both know school is not an option!!!

Workshop Week

First I must say I am so excited about the Emmys. Temple Grandin kicked butt! If you have not see it you must it was a great Movie. Anyways what a week. I signed up for a workshop at Autism Partnership to learn how to teach children with Autism. I learned so much and got to work with a fabulous team of ladies and a wonderful bunch of children. The most important thing I learned was not to react when you are hit yes that is right ignore it and it will stop (it did)! I also learned their are so many myths around Autism for example:

Myth:A child with autism never gives eye contact.
There are children with autism who make eye contact. Others take years to learn how to make eye contact.

Myth: Autistic people are usually geniuses or have a savant ability (Rain Man).
Autism is characterized by an uneven development of skills. That means that people with autism generally have some skills that are very well-developed and others that lag far behind. An autistic child, for instance, may have an amazing capacity to memorize facts, but be unable to relate those facts to each other.

Myth: Autistic people are incapable of giving affection.
Autism causes a dysfunction in the ability of a person to communicate and interact with others. Their expressions of affection may be unusual, or not fit the norm, but autistic people are certainly capable of feeling and showing affection.

Myth: Autistic people can not function in society.
There are many people who are diagnosed with autism who hold jobs, maintain their own apartments, have relationships with other people and do everything that people without autism can do. Autism is a broad spectrum of symptoms of varying degrees of severity.

Myth: Most children with autism never learn to talk.
With early identification and intensive intervention, as many as three-quarters of children with autism are able to talk. Those children with autism who never acquire spoken language often have severe mental retardation in addition to their autism, making the learning of language especially difficult. With training, however, even these children can often learn to communicate non-verbally

Myth: Autism can be caused by vaccinations.
At least two large studies have looked for a link between vaccinations and autism and did not find any evidence for it. Autism usually first appears within the first two years of life, at a time when children are receiving many immunizations. The appearance of autistic symptoms shortly after an immunization is bound to happen some of the time solely by chance.

Myth: Autism is caused by chemical imbalances or allergies that can be cured by special diets or nutritional supplements.
While these theories have undeniable appeal, no credible scientific evidence exists that diet or nutritional supplements can cure autism. Children with autism certainly can have allergies and nutritional deficiencies, and correcting these problems can help such a child to be healthier. This, in turn, may improve the child's behavior and general outlook, but special diets or vitamins are very unlikely to cure the autism itself, no matter what testimonials say.

Myth:Autism is caused by a lack of maternal affection
Professor Bruno Bettelheim believed that autism was caused by a lack of maternal affection. This led to the concept of the ‘refrigerator mother’ i.e. a mother who was emotionally distant. This theory has since been disproved.
We now beleive that autism has nothing to do with lack of affection from parents. Most mothers and fathers of children with autism spectrum disorders are extremely caring and loving parents.

These are just a few that I have been asked time and time again. I hope you pass it along. As Harry S. Truman said "it's what you learn after you know that counts."

Gearing up for school!

Isn't it always the way. I was so excited for Ruby to start preschool. What was I thinking? I know that she is exceptional, she enjoys being around other kids and it was a wonderful experience for her. I just can't help thinking (now that she is starting grade one) what was the rush? Then cringing about the money we spent on it! With Logan I was looking at things differently I would just let him be. We would find kids he could "socialize" with and when kindergarten came we would just go with the flow. That is until he was diagnosed. Then he started daily Therapy it's close to being in school only at home. Now that he is in a program they are suggesting he go to preschool to teach him the skills that do not come naturally to him. So instead of spending the day with Logan while Ruby spends full days at school. Our day will go a little something like this...Monday - Friday 8:30-12 therapy at home, 12-12:45 Lunch and driving to preschool, 12:45 - 3:45 preschool, in between I will pick up Ruby at school @ 2:25 and head back to pick up Logan then head home. Are you jealous yet? Oh well like the quote says you can wait out the storm or dance in the rain....I am going to be very wet!!!

We Will Survive!

So a few months have past...didn't I promise to keep in touch more often? It is always the intention...right? Well here I am after what I would chalk up to two long challenging months that for once didn't have anything to do with Logan or Autism. My dad went through open heart surgery (aortic valve replacement)with a few complications and a 20 day stay at VGH. Then my uncle passed away after a 6 month fight with Lung Cancer and ten days after his passing his wife (my aunt) was rushed to the hospital after her lung collapsed.

I must say the challenges that I have faced with Logan have made me a much stronger person because in the past I am not sure I could have kept it together through such a tumultuous time.

I have also learned that children face death with much more grace than we give them credit for. Ruby and I returned from Vancouver immediately after hearing that my uncle had taken a turn for the worse. Upon returning we went straight to my aunts house to see my uncle. I had told Ruby that he was dying and we needed to say goodbye. When we got to her house we went into the bedroom and Ruby started talking to him as if he was answering her back. She kept his mouth moist until she fell asleep in the chair and when she woke the next morning he had passed she went to the door of the room and said he doesn't hurt anymore he looks like he is sleeping. After a brief cry she dried her face and asked if she could pick out a star that night for her uncle. That was that. She has mentioned her and there that she misses him but she has carried on. It was truly inspiring.

Being away from Logan for 10 days when I was in Vancouver with my dad taught me two things one Bill can definitely take care of things when I am not here and Logan can make progress when I am away. It blew me away when I came home and saw the leaps he had taken in everything. His speech seemed clearer there were sentences I had never heard. I am not even sure Logan realized I was gone until I came home. He has been getting some separation anxiety whenever I leave the room which is a struggle we want to nip in the bud.

We are looking forward to the summer that we have left and we home it is a happier one. We are off camping for a week so I am sure we will have some stories upon returning.